I’d love to f**k her…

With a length of 3×2 round the head that is…

Who am I talking with such violence about? It’s the manager of Violent Storm of course.

If you can stick with me, please do, and read what is written below (in private!) and then make your own judgement based on my findings… and feel free to reply if you wish.

Arrived at the Corp yesterday at about 2:30pm after picking up gear. Was met by “M” and a few of the Corp crew who helped with load in. All good. Shortly after I was asked by “M” if I’d like to meet their manager… I went upstairs and met her.

Meeting the bitch
She said “oh you’re Crimes of Passion then” and then, obviously having heard good things, proceeded to enquire about if we were interested in a deal and a management deal. I said “well we have a manager at the moment, and we’ve got a few record deals on the table but we’re interested in all offers” she said “who’s your manager?” – I said “Rupert Withers from Vigilante, he manages Shy, Statetrooper and quite a few other big names in the UK”. She said “whilever you’re with Rupert I will never sign you, I don’t like Rupert and he owes me money”.

She then proceeded to tear a strip off Rupert in front of me and go into details I wasn’t prepared to argue over because “he owes her £1500”.

Back to the soundchecks…
I got fed up of her inane drivel and made my excuses that I had a stage to set up. We all then proceeded to set up our gear and line check, and then I got the phone call from “M” saying she wasn’t happy…

Back to the bitch
“Why is Danny Vaughn playing an hour and a half and we’ve only got 45 minutes? Violent Storm are much BIGGER than Danny Vaughn”… I snapped…

I explained in VERY GREAT DETAIL how it WASN’T A CO-HEADLINE (even though she kept saying it was and saying that it should have been a Violent Storm headliner anyway), and then how I had actually been persuaded to let Violent Storm do a SUPPORT because our date in June was the only one that could be used with any flexibility by “M” to put Violent Storm on. Bear in mind, Violent Storm had come along at the last minute (late April) after the date had been a done deal for many months, and been tagged on at THEIR request.

She then proceeded to lace into Rupert again… I really didn’t want this bollocks and left again.

The bitch makes her presence felt
Onto the floor, Danny Vaughn is now soundchecking and, understandably, is adamant that he is doing an hour and 30. I agree with him. It was HIM and US originally… and we should have both had good set lengths.

She comes downstairs, goes into the backstage room, and says “do you have a sharpie?”… I say “do you have manners?”. I think that’s killed the conversation. She wasn’t a very nice person as you can guess. Meanwhile various members of the crew and other bands keep giving her the two fingered insult behind her back (I’m sure she saw some of them but being a yank probably didn’t get what we were doing”.

She kept saying “when do Violent Storm soundcheck”. She then proceeded to rip into Rupert in front of Kev. Kev went backstage fuming and said “they’re not using my fucking drum kit now then are they” and we all joked about if their drummer was a beat box… I calmed him down and attempted to make the peace with “M” by organising us some more rider. “M” agreed and said he would have a word with the bitch about what she had just caused, and moreover, it was going to come out of her rider and she would be lucky if we didn’t tell-tale to Rupert, and more to the point, Testify in Court in a case of Slander.

Onto Violent Storm’s Soundcheck
Sorry… not derogatory to them, but being in Malsteem’s band they’ve obviously had their arses wiped after the poo. No skills in setting up or even un-muting amps at all… It took the bassist a good 5 minutes to find the mute button on my amp and he didn’t even think to ask. They proceeded to arse around for ages, and didn’t I’m afraid all I can say is that they both sucked and blowed… seriously. They’re not very good at all – it appears the sum of all the products of a band do not equal the same every time.

No soundcheck for us then
Our gig, we booked it, we co-ordinated it, we didn’t get a fucking soundcheck because of those cunts mentioned above… In The Name of managed about 5 minutes after doors… and soundchecked whilst the shutters were down.

Onto the gig
Thankfully the gig itself went great for us – even with no soundcheck at all, the sound was fantastic thanks to the Corp sound engineers who were so professional through all this shit… and we all did very well out of it, excepts…

And just desserts were dished…
Violent Storm actually caused people to leave into the back room! – There was very muted applause, and the general crowd weren’t actually clapping when being prompted, some people were even boo-ing. A few people commented to me that they were shit, but I held back on the full story, but to be honest – except for my professionalism, why should I?

They didn’t sell much – the merch stand wasn’t crowded – and better still The Bitch had a sour face…….  it was a great sight and much good humour and banter was exchanged between all other bands at their expense. I was soooo happy at the end of it all.

And as a final parting shot…
1. We wouldn’t sign to her label “Goldstorm” if it was the last label on earth. She’s a fucking control freak!
2. She’s a shit manager – rubbing up promoters the wrong way is not good for your future business…
3. No matter what…. if your band are shit, no matter how famous they are or who they played with, the crowd will make it known.

All I can say is I can’t wait to hear reports of bottles of piss being thrown at them when they play in Europe (they do that stuff over there if they don’t like you!).

Signing off…

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