So WHAT is the point of MANAGERS?

Having spent many years working from the “other side” of music, I’ve spent too long taking shit off people… and the worst shit givers?


“I’m the Manager” is three words that can make a shudder go down the very spine of any promoter, right down to the bottom of the monkey stump.

Managers are this special breed of person, usually failed solicitors. They still manage to piss everyone off, but don’t get paid quite as much to do it. I will give you an example and I will name names because after all… what do I care?

Many years ago, whilst in Crimes of Passion, I booked a gig at Sheffield Corporation featuring Vaughn (with the talents of the whingebag himself), COP and In the Name of as opening band.

I was then contacted by Denise from Goldstorm Records. She asked me if she could squash a band in after us, but before Vaughn… stupidly I agreed.

Little did I know she was queen bitch from hell who on the night insisted that Violent Storm were bigger than Vaughn and should be headlining… and then demanded that Violent Storm get exactly the same set length as Vaughn otherwise it wouldn’t be a co-headliner… er… sorry… who said it was a co-headliner?

She lost, but we didn’t get a soundcheck and I personally wanted to kick her up the chuff.

Yes. That bad.

Secondly… Threshold… their tour crew of a few years ago who insisted on having a 32 amp feed to their tourbus, thus taking one of the three 32 amp feeds at the Herringthorpe Leisure Centre (RIP)… sadly a CRS gig requires 2 x 32 amp feeds for the lights and one for the PA, but explaining to the bus driver why they couldn’t have the feed seemed to fall on deaf ears. Thick as a whale omelette springs instantly to mind.

So, what is the point of a manager? – apparently, to wind up the local venue crew, wind up the promoter, and attempt to “look after the band”.

Published by Kris

Bassist. Cat servant. Everything is better shiny.

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