Even though it was a strong team and they were very strong against the very aggressive Italian players for 120 minutes, the England team lost on penalties yesterday.

I’m actually quite pleased it went this way. Not for the team; I’m gutted for those guys who tried so hard. Not for the real fans (the people who follow football like a religion, not the thugs who smash up town centres), but for the Government and the clown who sits in number 10 milking this patriotism for all it’s worth.

Had our team won last night he would have used it as a device to fuel the horrible nationalism the Tories seem to thrive on. The gammon would have had another reason why “Engerland” is the best in Europe, and another reason why we’re better out.

Well we lost. Italy is better than us at football. Get over it. Lots of people are better at us at most things. We might have invented the things they’re better at, but they’re still better.