Confrontation aborted.

Yesterday whilst driving along a road I found another driver attempting to cause a confrontation. The road in question is narrow, has cars parked along both sides with virtually no breaks, and in general when someone is coming through people tend to wait and let them through.

But not this entitled tosser. My van (blue) was about two thirds of the way through. The Range Rover (there I said it, you get the picture now, shown in teal) driver, instead of waiting around 20 yards further back, pulled up deliberately to block the road and attempt to make me pull into a space that was really tight (the one on the left). Instead I pulled up in the position my van is shown in on the illustration below and gestured he moved over a little.

He did. A very tiny amount. I then started manoeuvreing left to try and squeeze past, but the dickhead continued to try and make it difficult.

He then wound down his window, and in a Scouse accent said “how long you been f**king driving”, to which I responded “long enough to know you’re being a prick”. I then wound back up my window. He carried on ranting, so I just turned my music up really loud.

It has to be said that my extremely loud heavy metal music terrified the shit out of him, and strangely enough, he reversed up; realising that whilst he thought he was a bit of a twat; that day he’d met his superior.

At one time I would have got into a full on shoutfest with these arseholes, but these days I just think it’s not worth it.

Bloody idiot.

I have very little tolerance for these people. You’re a professional driver. Driving is your job. It’s your career.

Yes, and for a chosen career you can’t even keep in your mind the height of your vehicle.

Luckily the fines and penalties for these idiots are steep and they can usually consider it the end of their HGV licence, or at least the end of their career as a £80000+ insurance claim is a fairly hefty black mark.

This was a fairly minor strike compared to some of the ones we have around here. Being surrounded by railways we have a network of low bridges criss-crossing the borough and thus these are common events. The worst recently happened a couple of years ago and closed a major road for over a week whilst the bridge was repaired – it’s a brick arch bridge and the structure of the arch was compromised.

Group 4 park like dicks.

A blanket statement, you may think, but actually – judging by the three examples below captured within a very short period they need to prove otherwise. I am currently drawing a blank G4S over these. I emailed requesting they notify their drivers that this sort of parking and just abandoning their vehicles is not acceptable – the first of which is an offence liable to land the driver with a £60 fine and 3 points on their licence – and I have had a response, but the follow up email hasn’t happened.

I don’t know if they are like this all over the country, but it seems our South Yorkshire drivers are just dicks.

Group 4 - Traffic Jam 1
Hillsborough, Sheffield – Zig Zags adjacent crossing
G4S... LR55 YOO... you ARSEHOLES
Bolton-on-Dearne – G4S van parked across entrance
Group 4 arrogance
Fenton Road, Rotherham – Disabled Space

Adventures in Shopping

I had to go shopping. First of all I spent a mortgage on printer ink. Why is printer ink so expensive? – I’m now refilling all our cartridges but for the Photosmart we currently haven’t had a spare set. That’s now rectified and refilling will start immediately! I did manage a rather good package in Staples for under £40 for all 6 inks!

Onwards to Parkgate Retail World. A place I can only say I “tolerate”. It causes traffic hell, takes shoppers out of Rotherham, and actually isn’t that cheap… but it is home to Boots and I needed stuff from Boots. Upon entering Retail World I drove my little van up a parking line and saw a space… until a Peugeot 206 convertible driver had different ideas. She had her space, but she decided to reverse out straight into my path… but then stopped when she saw me. Rather than do the sensible thing and pull back into her space she sat in the middle of the lane blocking it expecting me to reverse back up into the queue of traffic building up behind me. “Sod this” I thought and reversed into the space opposite her anyway (small van… manouverable!) with a little farting around, but I got in. She STILL didn’t move!

As soon as I pulled into the space, she pulled back into hers… and I saw the scenario from a mile off – she was going to “have a go” at me. She got out of her car and stood opposite my van staring at the van… obviously she couldn’t see me. She had hair that could only be described as a bright yellow Crystaltips with a home perm and bad home colouring job. Her face was suck-a-lemon sour… and the Playboy bunnies on the back of the car gave me a good indication of her general level of intelligence…

Then… I unfolded myself out of my little van… yes… unfolded. It is rather small… all virtually 6’1″ of me… clad in leather trousers and long black leather coat, complete with black shirt and peroxide white mohican…

Have you ever seen someone scurry off with their face looking at the floor? – no? – well she did… very quickly. I like being scary 🙂

Finally… Barbers Avenue – thank you RMBC at least you can do something right. This junction has been annoying me for a while because it’s too narrow for 2 lanes of traffic so some inconsiderate people think it’s acceptable to drive up the footpath. Today two bollards have appeared on the footpath adjacent to the road thus preventing these kerb crawlers. I don’t like footpath drivers, nor do I like people who park so far on the footpath that pedestrians have to walk on the road to pass their vehicle. I generally find that OVER is preferable to ROUND in these instances… (have you ever seen footprints over the roof of a car?).

Why you shouldn’t tailgate…

An “unnecessary 4×4 owner” (seeeth) yesterday learnt a lesson.

Driving through the roadworks between Junction 33 and Junction 35 on the M1 I was tailgated very closely by a 4×4… now normally they annoy me anyway when they do this, but he was REALLY CLOSE. It’s 50mph (SPECS speed camera system, folks) and I was indeed in a line of traffic doing 50.

When I came to leave the M1 at J35, I drove up the slip road – not hanging around and doing about 60-65… Mr. 4×4 came flying up behind me waiting to turn right… and then followed me… and then tailgated me very closely again – all through the 30 zone of Thorpe Hesley.

Anyhow… a couple of hard brakes in front of him, and then a glare out of the back window certainly sorted that… but it wasn’t me who did the sorting out. No, after the second stop and glare his missus started REALLY going off on one at him and she gave him a slap!

Result!!!

Today’s post is brought to you by the numbers 3 and 0


I sometimes feel a sense of dread.

I sometimes feel a serious sense of dread.

I sometimes worry about the people I have to share the roads with…

Why do I spend far too much of my life following wankers who drive at 35-40mph on a perfectly straight and clear 60 road, only to pass the 30 speed limit sign and see them disappear into the distance still doing 35-40mph when I decide to obey the speed limit?

I can imagine what these pricks would say to the police when pulled in for speeding:

“Well I don’t drive fast”

The same people who when I’m going 30mph in a 30mph speed limit sit 6′ from my rear bumper, only to be left behind when I accelerate up to 60mph when we pass the national speed limit sign?

Rant over.