There are certain perils and pitfalls about going out to gig in latex jeans. I’ve done it a few times (indeed I’ve played on stage in leather and pvc, but never latex). My day yesterday was a latex day… Rewind a few days…
Being forgetful me, I had totally forgotten that I had absolutely no latex shine left at all. Not a jot. My last bottle of vivishine was looking quite bleak and I don’t think hitting it with a hammer would squeeze any more out of it.
Sadly, my only latex which is suitable for wearing out without some sort of shine is chlorinated, and since I’ve lost weight it looks like I’ve tied bin liners around my legs.
After the usual Saturday morning duties were done and dispensed with I decided I had to go to the shops; this would also include a trip to the biggest sex shop in the UK so I’m told (not too far from us!). I know they’re a sex shop rather than a fetish suppliers, although I know they do the aerosol based silicon “rubbashine” stuff. It’s ok in an emergency, but better as a shine top-up.
That’s the point at which I found out they now do their own generic latex shine (with a rather smutty name!). Better still; 4 for the price of 3!
Guess who bought four!
Rather than just try them, and knowing my latex jeans were down in my gig wardrobe at work (I store my stagewear in my unit due to home wardrobe size constraints) I called by there and gave them a shine, before putting them on.
Have to say, looking good!
So, that not much after I headed up to the gig; complete with one of the new bottles and a duster in a small bag for “topping up”.
I arrived at the venue. Topped up my shine as I got out of the car (leather seats don’t go well with latex so I tend to sit on a towel or just my coat to avoid the embarrassing sound of it pulling away)
Parking the car and walking down to the venue was a rather cold experience. Snow on the ground and latex jeans with the insulating properties of tissue paper after all!
They shone well in the street lights though!
I was in them for about 6 hours in total. When I first started wearing latex a few years ago I couldn’t wear it for very long. Now I think my body is accustomed to it and I just wear it like normal fabric.
At the gig.
The gig was great. People’s responses to my jeans were quite surprising too. Most people didn’t say a thing (although I detected a few people wanted to say something but didn’t quite know how to take it).
Some people thought they were “shiny plastic”. I corrected them of course.
In all, I felt great and looked pretty damned awesome. Even my beard stayed in order!
But you say perils, I hear you ask.
Well unlike leather and pvc, latex needs “care” whilst you’re out and about. The silicon polish that gives you the shine eventually wears off, so the occasional freshen up trip to the toilets is required so you can give the shine a top up.
This in itself can be a hazard as the silicon can be very slippery if you get it on anything. You have to be careful with the floors of the toilets as you don’t want the next customer slipping up.
Also, generally at gigs, the toilets get quite grim anyway so it’s not a nice place to be!
These, on the other hand, weren’t bad…
I did the obligatory mirror selfie whilst nobody else was in there. Bit weird otherwise…
The other problem with wearing latex, of course, is the stroke factor. You do get a lot of people curious what it is and wanting a touch. Then again… It does look amazing!
The gig was great, and to be honest when I got home I wasn’t actually in a rush to take them off. I’m definitely accustomed to latex these days.