The rules of Laptop Conkers are simple.
When in a fast food outlet or other location offering free Wifi you find a number of reps and other such people.
Generally you will find laptop envy – someone will pull out a laptop, and the next guy will pull out a bigger faster laptop.
I therefore propose that the scornful look given by the bigger/better/faster/more expensive laptop owner therefore is the throwing down of the gauntlet for a challenging game of Laptop Conkers.
Using any chosen port on your laptop, attach a dongle/cable to use as a string (may I suggest a VGA, Serial or Parallel port as they have the best tethering method). USB and Firewire tend not to be too stable. This is the only method by which the laptop is permitted to be handled during the game.
The challenger gets first strike and the person challenged must hold out their laptop by the cable whilst the challenger gets a strike, in the style of conkers. Any method of swinging is permitted but all swings must be done using only the cable. Any misses are counted as lost turns and the turn passes on.
After a strike, the places reverse and the challenged has a go at hitting the challengers laptop in return.
The first laptop to break is the loser. String (cable) detachment is also counted as a lose. By BREAK the official rules state that a piece of the laptop must strike the floor or another surface around the players.
…The first guy who has challenged me has a Macbook Air… I have a Panasonic Toughbook CF-18.
Odds are 28,000:1 on me winning….. 😉